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Céline Bureau is a non-profit artist residency in Tiohtià:ke/Montréal which fosters exchanges between local, national and international artists of different ages, backgrounds, mediums, and identities.
The Ghost in the Guestbook (Part 1.)
Jan. 12, 2023, 11:02 a.m. – by Max Holzberg
This project was realized as part of the Celine Bureau 2022 writing residency with cigale journal.
Does a document die when it goes the archives? Can we bring it back to life? Who speaks for it when it comes alive?
Formatted as a short screenplay, the Ghost in the Guest Book is a scenario in-which an archivist from an established federal institution goes on a public radio show and claims to possess the spirit of an archival object. Positioning his work as an innovative archival method to activate queer-Canadian counter-history, the archivist’s capacity to “speak for the archive” and his institution’s shortcomings are challenged by a sharp radio-host.
Part-satire, part-parody, the Ghost in the Guest Book is an institutional critique which questions the band-aid solutions and absurd publicity stunts used by institutions who attempt to address structural issues, as opposed to using meaningful solutions. The script also considers the role of a traditional archive and its methods in the current epoch.
Published as a work-in-progress, some dialogue and actions are missing or improperly formatted. When reading, the writer asks you to consider if this format suits the scenario and encourages you consider the ways in which absence of characters and dialogue impact the critique.
---
FADE IN:
INT. BOARD ROOM - DAY
Three people sit at a small circular table reviewing printed documents and a large paper schedule. The table is covered with crumpled papers, half-finished coffee cups, un-opened plastic water bottles and laptops.
AMANDA
Next week, moved to a Zoom. Guest can't come to the studio.
CLARA
Ok, thanks for letting me know, Amanda. Remind me with whom?
AMANDA
Amal Marchad of the Francophone Queer Archivists Federation.
DOUG
(Said with enthusiasm)
Oh, that's right she's out of the country in Europe for something ... For some... Grand event!
AMANDA
Hm. Anyway. This will be good. She's engaging and dynamic. The federation has this new artist in residence progr-
DOUG
(Interrupting and speaking in French)
Programme d'archiviste-artiste en residence...
AMANDA
As I was saying, the residency should really be the focus of the interview.
DOUG
You'll get about 15 minutes with her. 20 if you're lucky, methinks.
A large wooden door slightly opens, there is a knock at it. A hand peaks out in the crack between the door and the frame and waves.
CLARA
Morning Johnathan, come on in!
As the door opens further Johnathan begins to step in, Amanda waves her hands in the air and Johnathan steps back behind the door.
AMANDA
(Annoyed)
Not right now, Johnathan. Yes Clara, just get straight to the point. She's very busy, we're lucky to have her time.
CLARA
Do they have any selected archivist-artists residents yet? That's the angle we should really be going for. That's fresh.
AMANDA
No.
DOUG
That's a nice thought, but no, not this time.
There is a knock again, the door swings open. Johnathan stands in the door frame.
JOHNATHAN
Sorry, just wanted to let you know that today's guest is here.
CLARA
Thanks. Out in a second.
AMANDA
We'll be five minutes.
DOUG
Yeah, five minutes. Thank you for your patience!
Johnathan nods and closes the door.
AMANDA
Ok, let's focus on today... Quick review.
DOUG
Great idea, Amanda! Ok Clara, go!
CLARA
Ok will be quick, I'd like to respect the schedule... We really should.
DOUG
Clara, don't worry, we have time.
CLARA
Alright, I'm on with Michel Turrell from the Federal Archives. He's speaking about the special collections, highlighting queer Canadian history and some alternative approaches when working with and I quote under-represented material.
AMANDA
Yes... Oh and by the way glad you accepted my suggestions to soften the intro. Your questions had substance but the wording was too harsh.
(forming air quotes when she says the word harsh)
DOUG
Yes it was kind of hostile before, wouldn't you say? Amanda's suggestion to be a bit friendlier is just better!
CLARA
Well I would say you sanitized the intro here but glad it is just better.
AMANDA
I mean it is also fits with the new broadcast style guide.
DOUG
(Attempting to make eye-contact with Amanda)
Well I think this is all just wonderful! The interview will be a hit, a roaring success. Ok well, time to get go--
AMANDA
(Interrupting)
Clara, I should ask you
(Pauses and makes eye contact with Doug and glares)
as we always do, how do feel about today?
DOUG
Oh yes, where is your head at?
CLARA
Well this interview was not my choice, and I think this is a load of crap. The guy is a total airbag. When I spoke to him last week to record the sound-bite he made no sense, and the word on the street is that he's an opportunist and a flake - it's all a sham.
DOUG
Clara, don't make it personal. I mean it coul-
AMANDA
This is un-true. We've done thorough research, you and I both know this. The broadcaster maintains rigorous fact-checking standards, plus the subject is from a reputable crown corporation. We have the story straight and the right person to tell it.
DOUG
This is important history that needs to be shared with all Canadians.
CLARA
For the record, broadcasting counter-history is not the issue here. The problem is the method, it's mad.
DOUG
The method is the most compelling part of segment.
AMANDA
Well thank you, Clara, for sharing, glad I asked. Let's focus here, ok?
DOUG
Let me remind you that today's segment is also completely aligned with the broadcaster's new mandate!
AMANDA
Which I'll remind you, is something you have been pushing for well before the 11th floor started listening.
DOUG
Isn't that the point of this season?
CLARA
Again, you're off. I'm NOT against counter-histories - I've made that very clear. I take issue with this case because it's a publicity stunt. Plain and simple.
AMANDA
No.
DOUG
Not even close.
CLARA
(Angry)
Really? Well we never hear anything about the Archive's budget cuts, ongoing labour disputes, the so-called pledge to work communities, adherence to the calls to action, the micro-grants. And I should add, that I'm never given the chance to ask them whenever we speak.
DOUG
Well, Clara, it's far more complicated than th-
CLARA
(Interrupting)
What's the story that's really bubbling beneath a few press-releases? We have 27 minutes to speak to someone from the federal archives and we don't cover this?
AMANDA
We're a weekly cultural history show not national news.
CLARA
THIS is part of our cultural history.
DOUG
No, that's news. And besides, that's not a beat for our floor and the 6th wouldn't go there.
AMANDA
Clara, I think we've really gone off track here. We have a unique opportunity to get first hand access into some really innovative methods which uplift communit-
DOUG
(Interrupting)
Which is aligned with our new mandate! It's going to be great!
CLARA
Yes, but if we're speaking about queer archives we should be bringing in someone from that world, not a nerdy bureaucrat.
DOUG
Nerdy bureaucrat, oh please Clara, don't be a brat!
AMANDA
We've already had a guest from a queer community archive this season, can't redo that now can we. Besides, the federal archivist will help diversify voices and bring in an institutional perspective.
DOUG
And since this is a shorter season we have to be selective with guests, kind of like an archivist, you know? Make choices, spread the love a little bit more.
CLARA
There was a time when we would only speak to the Federal Archives.
Johnthan lightly knocks at the door. Doug, Clara and Amanda ignore it.
DOUG
Well I would like to remind you that was before your time.
AMANDA
That's why we brought in your perspective, your experiences and your approach, which fits the mandate. Great opportunity, for you and for us!
CLARA
Yes but when the "new mandate" arrived the season was sliced in-half and moved to Thursday at 11:00 AM.
Another knock, this time forceful. No one reacts. The door swings open, Johnathan enters the room.
JOHNATHAN
Hi... Sorry, it's um, we're just, we're going to be on soon.
DOUG
Our most sincere apologies Johnathan! We'll be out in a sec.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY. DAY.
A man in his early 50s in a double breasted trench coat is seated in the middle of three chairs. He carries a black tote-bag which says "Archives! Alive!" and is drinking a cup of coffee from a porcelain mug labeled "Archives! Alive!" Johnathan comes out from behind a wooden door.
JOHNATHAN
Hi, Michel, I'm so sorry. I think they got caught up in a meeting, now just wrapping up.
MICHEL
Oh! That is completely fine, thanks. Just gives us a few minutes to ourselves anyway.
JOHNATHAN
Ahhh... Ok, are you sure I can't take your coat?
MICHEL
All fine, thanks!
JOHNATHAN
Refill on coffee?
MICHEL
I'm all caffeinated, but please hold on moment.
(Pulls his bag up to his ear and taps the side of it twice)
Yes, my companion would request one.
JOHNATHAN
Ok?
(Pauses, then responds with confusion)
On it.
MICHEL
We say thanks!
Johnathan exists down the hall. Across from the three seats the wooden door opens, out comes Amanda, Doug and Clara.
AMANDA
(To Doug and Clara)
Can we pick up on this Monday? Slammed with meetings tomorrow and now is not the time to discuss the big picture.
DOUG
Clara, just sleep on it, your mind will be clearer later. I want you to know that I hear your concerns, but today is not the day for me to hear them!
MICHEL
Good morning!
DOUG
Ah, good morning... Michel!
AMANDA
Amanda Levine. Producer.
(shakes hands with Michel)
DOUG
Douglas Moshcowiz, you can call me Doug however, everyone around here does. Associate producer.
(Nods his head)
MICHEL
Pleasure to meet you both, I am Michel, from the... Federal Archives!
(pauses)
Oh and you must be wondering who my guest is, you'll meet them very soon! They say hello!
(Michel taps his bag twice, pauses, looks at Clara)
Oh of course, you are the famous Clara! I hope it is ok to say that I'm a HUGE fan.
CLARA
Oh you are? How wonderful. Looking forward to the interview?
MICHEL
We certainly are!
CLARA
We?
(Pauses)
Oh so sorry forgot something in my office. I just have to run back. Doug and Amanda will be pleased to show you to the studio.
(Clara exits and walks briskly down the hallway.)
AMANDA
Where's Johnathan?
JOHNATHAN
(Johnthan runs-in with a blue mug of coffee which says, Archives! Alive!)
Sorry, I'm right here! Just had to get Michel another coffee. Let's get started!
CUT TO:
INT. DAY. RADIO STUDIO.
At a small octagonal table in the middle of a cramped radio studio, there are five desk chairs, two microphones suspended on stands at either end of the table, three laptops, notepads, sheets of loose leaf paper and Michel's full coffee-mug. Clara is seated at one corner and Michel across. Doug and Amanda hover behind the two empty chairs Johnathan stands between them and slightly behind. A technician is playing with a microphone cable beside Michel. Behind the table is a control room with a glass window, another technician is seated fiddling with the controls.
CLARA
Michel, welcome. To get you oriented, here is a quick overview: I'll do my intro, we'll play your soundbite, then start with some questions which pertain to the archives to gain a bit of background info and finally dive in to the method.
MICHEL
Fabulous Clara! When does my companion come in?
CLARA
During the method, doesn't really seem relevant until then.
MICHEL
Well, they might just have a thing or two to share before then!
CLARA
Ok... And on that note, I guess all questions go to you, no matter who they are for, and then when necessary, you'll intervene?
MICHEL
Exactly!
AMANDA
Like an interpreter, Clara.
DOUG
Yes, think of it just like translation.
CLARA
Very evident but thanks for the input.
JOHNATHAN
3 minutes till air.
DOUG
Oh we should go.
AMANDA
Clara, we'll be in the booth, best not to be seated at the table today. Good luck.
DOUG
My most very best wishes to you all!
Doug and Amanda exit the studio and move to the booth. The technician stands-up.
JOHNATHAN
Chris, good to go?
CHRIS
Yes.
CLARA
Thanks, Chris!
JOHNATHAN
Michel, are you all set?
MICHEL
Yes, but what about my companion?
JOHNATHAN
Oh, yeah ok, is the "companion" ready?
MICHEL
Correction, guest book. Ok. One moment please...
(Michel pulls up his tote bag)
It's time for them take a seat at the table.
CLARA
(mutters under her breath)
Christ. How did he steal this from a collection…
Michel pulls out a notebook from his bag and places it on the table caresses it with his hand and then holds it.
JOHNATHAN
We have 90 seconds, so that's a yes from you then.
MICHEL
Hold on, let me just ask.
JOHNATHAN
No. Clara, good?
CLARA
Ready, thanks so much Jon!
JOHNATHAN
Alright, to you both, I hope it goes wel-
MICHEL
We're ready!
JOHNATHAN
Ok, 60 seconds. Quiet please.
Clara and Michel nod.
MICHEL
Clara, have you seen anything good recently? TV shows? I binge a LOT of Netflix.
Clara rolls her eyes - does not respond.
JOHNATHAN
45 seconds.
CUT TO:
INT. DAY. BOOTH.
Amanda and Doug are seated behind the technician at the controls. All are wearing over the ear headphones. The technician fiddles with the controls.
AMANDA
(Taking one headphone off)
I think booking this was a mistake. Fuck.
DOUG
(Taking one headphone off his ear he turns to Amanda)
No, not at all, why would you say?
AMANDA
Look no further... That man is a fool. How did we not catch this?
DOUG
He means well. I just hope that Clara doesn't take him to task. Her comments were so inappropriate this morning.
JOHNATHAN (O.S.)
(heard from the headphones)
30 seconds to air.
AMANDA
You really hate conflict, don't you, Doug? How did you get this job?
(Pauses, expecting Doug to reply, Doug remains silent)
Anyway, yes she's such a pill... But I think she's on to something here. I have a bad feeling about this.
DOUG
Oh Amanda, let's no-
AMANDA
Oh they're about to go to air, let's listen.
Doug and Amanda put both their headphones on.
JOHNATHAN
(Heard from inside the headphones)
15 seconds till we're live
(Pauses)
10, 9, 8, 7, 6,
(Putting up a full hand he counts down the remaining with his fingers)
AMANDA
(to Doug)
And we're live.
FADE OUT